vegan

 He orders two triple cheeseburgers, a Big Mac, fries, and a Diet Coke. He drives home with the food and unpacks it on the coffee table in the living room. He eats a cheeseburger.

“Perfect timing,” he says when she walks through the door. “I just got back.”

She sits down and opens her Big Mac and takes a bite.

“I don’t want to eat like this anymore,” she says.

“What do you mean?”

“I think I hate meat,” she says.

“Seriously?” he asks. He takes another bite of his cheeseburger.

“Yeah. I want to go vegan. All I’m eating this for is like the special sauce and the pickle and stuff.”

“I love meat,” he says. He takes another bite.

“I don’t. I feel like shit because of it.”

“Yeah. I mean, I get that. It’s like really funny to me, though,” he says. “Like, I just love that we’re eating all these burgers while talking about going vegan.”

He finishes his cheeseburger and starts the next one.